Gone fishin'

Saturday night special beat service

The bad news. When I called my dealer to score a gram of blow, he informed me that he was out of the coke game for the foreseeable future. Fuck.

But being a dedicated fiend, I have more than one dealer. I was able to hook up with my back up guy tonight and cop what he calls ‘a 16th’. I’m chopping it up now.

I haven’t gotten coke from this dude in a while, but I remember it as being pretty hit or miss.

OK, just did a line. Pretty harsh, compared to what I’m used to these days.

This shit has a weird smell to it. Kind of smells like olives. Hmm.

Well I feel pretty good. Maybe this is a good score.

Just did third line.

Other than this weird olive smell, it seems like pretty good cocaine.

OK yeah shit this coke is fucking serious. Whoa.

This should definitely do the trick for my little vacation next weekend. Oh yes.

I just hope the fat girl is down to party for real. I’d really rather not have to ring up some dirty street whore to serve as my cum receptacle. I’m hoping that it will be a female that I know who will be interacting with my penis next weekend.

dreaming is free

Feelin' Veronique

Veronique Vega has really been doing it for me lately. Damn she's fine.

Throwdown kinda bitches

Throwdown kinda bitch

Having a semi-delicious whiskey cocktail.

I’ve been sort of getting back into alcohol lately.

It started last weekend at a party in San Francisco. I got terrifically drunk for the first time in ages and it was fantastic.

So I went ahead and bought myself a pint of whiskey yesterday on my way home from work and before the concert.

When I drove to the concert I totally scored rock star parking on the street like a block away.

I sat in my car drinking whiskey, smoking weed and listening to music until I was good and lit up.

Then I went inside the concert. It was sold out. There were lots of young people being wanton and carefree, as there should be at these things.

I was pretty fucked up, just kind of wandering around and taking it all in.

(Excuse me while I smoke another bowl. I did a bunch of lines earlier and it helped me blaze through some laundry and fueled a satisfying wank to young miss Aaralyn Barra).

The concert was great. The band sounded hot and Slug was so solid on the mic and I stood in close proximity to so many fine-ass bitches. Like crazy stripper-looking bitches.

Slug has a big problem with cocaine. He tells kids not to do it onstage and in the liner notes of his records. I think this is a very good thing. Those little fuckers really listen to dude.

Me, I’m still having my moment with the powder. It works for me. I enjoy it. What can I say?

I’m going out of town for real next week. Friday through Monday. It should be interesting to say the least.

I wonder what will happen when I actually see the fat girl. It probably depends on how fucked up I/we get. It would be nice to lick on those massive tits though. I bet her nipples are just stellar. And I have a feeling those babies are in dire need of some undivided attention.

zen

Airplane girl

I was on an airplane on Sunday. It was a short flight, and towards the end of it I noticed her.

She was sitting across the aisle from me. Early 20s, Pilipino and dressed like she was on her way to a strip club or porn shoot. She had on this black mesh/lace top that pushed her gargantuan tits well outside of the confines of her obviously overmatched top. I mean huge. 

She had a pretty face, and seemed oblivious to the fact that I was now fixated on her chest.

When we landed, I couldn’t believe what I saw when she stood up. A petite frame, with those breasts, and the most outsized ass I’ve seen this side of a black men’s magazine. It was so big and shapely it looked like a fucking cartoon. Thoughts of bending her over in a nearby bathroom flooded my brain. Jesus. She had on hot porno heels and everything.

I followed her through the airport for a few minutes, just long enough to snap a couple of pictures of her divine bootay for my (and your) future viewing pleasure.

That’s the kind of woman I want to have really dirty sex with. I’d happily pay her for it, too.

Dirty White Snow Bunnies has sold out and Twitters now

I figure, what the fuck? Maybe I can get lucky trolling for whores there.

http://twitter.com/dirtysnowbunny

Follow me and I'll follow you.

Otherwise, blew a bunch of lines earlier, jerked off to Kelly Wells and now I'm smoking weed and warming up some Indian food leftovers.

Monday.

Fantasy girl of the day

I saw this picture on Tony's blog and immediately fell in love. I need a classic '77 Camero convertible blasting Thin Lizzy with her sitting in the driver seat as we roar up the PCH to find an empty stretch of beach to have sex on at 4 in the morning. For starters.

I love you, Kelly Wells

Kelly's Eyes

Kinda weird.

Out of nowhere, a mad craving for the chicken pesto at Corner Bakery. Who knew?

Navigating downtown L.A. in a car sucks. So much so that I almost aborted my mission.

But then I discovered that my bullet-pipe was fully loaded with AK-47 so I pulled over and smoked that shit. Much better.

Finally found a parking space and rolled into the Corner Bakery.

I was nice and stoned, and approached the register.

Average looking Mexican girl, mid-to-late 20s.

Not fat, but way out of shape. Her belly hung down over her belt. Nice tits.

When I gave her my order, she suddenly burst into a wide smile.

“Oh! You have such a nice voice,” she said, putting her hand on her chest and actually blushing. “It’s something different.”

I smiled back at her and said thank you. If I could blush, I probably would have.

What I really wanted to do was go behind the counter and get on my knees. I’d lift her t-shirt, exposing her bulging belly, which I would lovingly lick.

Then the jeans would get unzipped, and I’d use my tongue to get her all moist and ready.

Standing up, I’d take her pants and panties off, hoist her up onto the counter behind her, whip out my cock and gently ease it inside.

I’d lift off her t-shirt, but leave on the bra. That way I could pull her tits out of the top and the bra would act like a holster pushing them up in that nasty sexy way I love so much.

I would fuck her nice and slow, playing with her nipples while we kissed gently and talked dirty to each other. It would have been amazing.

Instead, I got my sandwich and went back to work.

But I made up for it later on in the evening.


When I got home, there was a check i my mailbox for a decent amount of money. Even more than I expected. So I called my man and scored two grams of blow. Came home, started doing lines and cued up “Monster Cock Fuckfest.” The first one. And holy shit is it amazing.

I got about halfway through the flick when I got so excited my cock almost exploded while I wasn’t even touching it. There’s this whore called Kelly Wells. While she’s getting fucked, she has this habit of drooling and spitting, so there’s always slobber dripping from her mouth. It’s so fucking sexy I want to slap somebody.

I’ve decided that Kelly Wells needs to be my personal assistant when my friend and I start our porn star fantasy camp. An assistant that I’ll keep on a leash and that will jerk me off under the table at breakfast and then get down and take all of my cum into her mouth.

The best kind.

Amanda Blank and ice cream

These pics made me fall in love with her all over again. The story is pretty good, too. When do I get a Mandy of my very own? Pouty face. Baby, be mine. I even know one of your homegirls and she'll vouch for me. I'm sweet, cool and have a really big dick.

Amanda Blank from the back

I wanna lick Amanda Blank's pussy all nice and slow and deep

I would take such good care of that pretty little kitty. Just look at it. Mmmm. Put a little lube on my fingertips and ever so gently tease her tender clit. I'd lick that sweet little nub as softly as possible, before slightly increasing the pressure and maybe sticking the tip of a finger into her strawberry asshole.

She seems like the kind of lady that wants to be spoiled. I would so spoil this baby girl.

But when it's late, and we've been drinking and laughing and making out and ripping bong hits and blowing lines of clean-ass cocaine, she'll want it hard and nasty, and I'll be right there to give it to her.

Jesus, to just pound that pretty little pussy with my big fat cock. Just like heaven.

And those fucking long-ass legs. I wanna wrap those slender stems around my neck and indulge in the Blank buffet. Aaaaall day, baby. All day. See you in L.A. on the 27th, sweetness. I'll be down front. Use me. Please.

Roger that

Look, you can lick my asshole all day. Shove your tongue deep in my sphincter and toss that salad like you work at the Olive Garden. I’ll love every minute of it.

But know that my asshole will be squeaky clean. It will smell faintly of soap, if anything other than washed skin. Because I am not down with anything scat. It’s just nasty. We are the clean people. CleanCleanClean. Everything smells nice and feels supple. That’s just how we roll. Pussy juice? You betcha. Sperm? All day baby. Believe that.

Otherwise, we keep it so fresh and so clean. No STDs of any kind, ever. And we’re keeping it that way. Join our club, sexy.

I am the perfect amount of drunk right now. I had what, four cocktails? And not just any garden variety, industry standard jack and coke bullshit. I’m talking about the finest fucking cocktails Los Angeles has to offer. You don’t even know, mother fucker.

OK, shit. It’s late, I’m drunk and there’s a TV commercial for Absolut vodka that uses a faithful cover of New Order’s “Ceremony” as the music. I love that song so much. The original, anyway. Do I feel all self-righteous and superior to the cover version in the commercial? Nah. It reminds me of how awesome the original is, and I’m gonna dial it up in my iTunes right now. Mission accomplished.

You need to listen to Digable Planets. The album is called “Blowout Comb.” It’s on my list of the 50 greatest albums ever recorded. They talk about “Creamy Spies.” Creamy spies are real, OK? They just are.

My friend wants to start a porn star fantasy camp. I think it’s a great idea. I already know the girls I’d recruit for it: Julie Night, Hillary Scott, Vanessa Lan, Tera Lynn Fox, Lisa Sparxxx, Aaralyn Barra, Julia Bond, Lisa Marie, Whitney Stevens, Whitney’s sister Britney Stevens and Missy Monroe are just some of the first slatterns I would contact to be a part of it.

And being one of the event organizers, I’d be able to do all sorts of disgusting things with these professional whores, which is the whole point. Suck it, bitch. That’s right, take the whole thing down your throat and just hold it there while tears run down your face. Lick my balls while you’re at it, whore. Yeah, like that.

My perfect girl? Today, Amanda Blank. She’s sweet, tender and knows how to get nasty when it’s time to get nasty. And that long, lean body with the fat pussy and bubble booty? On a white girl? I’d marry that girl tomorrow, treat her like the queen she is and fuck her like the whore she knows how to be.

Even though it’s after midnight, I said fuck it and did a bump of coke. Life is short. Blow me. No, really. Blow me.

Follow that back

I’m walking a lot now.

I was gonna buy a bike, but then realized I was just tempting death by tooling around L.A. on a bike. I’m scared enough when I’m protected from these asshole drivers when I’m behind the wheel of my military tank. There’s no way I’m risking life and limb on a damn bicycle. Plus I just don’t have the time to be driving somewhere just to ride one.

So I started taking these long walks from my house to…wherever.

This past weekend I was just getting started when I spied a cute little blonde up ahead. She looked like she’d just come from working out.

But despite her relatively diminutive size, honey was rocking the NICE big, bouncy butt.

I followed that ass for a good mile up the road. I was maybe a block behind her, so I don’t think she was ever any the wiser.

I finally thought to stop and snap a pic for posterity’s sake (ZING!).

Yet another perk of living in L.A.

Stevie Hart leaves porn. My cock is sad

Damn it, bitch. I was just getting into your filthy little ass. Thanks for the cum shots.

Sand

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Insufflation nation

Wooooooooo.

I met my man at the spot tonight. Grabbed a gram of blow and an 8th of AK-47 herbal medicine.

Got home and dialed up a little something xTx squirted out recently.

Smoked a quick bowl and chilled the fuck out.

Chopped some lines and snorted up the first two.

OK hello. Now this is what I'm talking about. I am fucking HIGH. I can feel cool sensations running up and down my arms. My cock is as hard as a rock.

I read words while this slattern--what's your name again, honey?--Hillary Scott is giving it all she's got on a room full of big-dicked homies in "Orgy World 10." Yes, we're back to that one again.

This is that scary-good blow that just makes you feel goooooood. There's no sketch at all. Jesus where did HE get this shit? I gotta make sure he holds me at least a ball of this batch.

come here little girl...

I want to kidnap and rape a rave chick. She'd be over 18 of course, and totally complicit in this filth, so take it easy, puritan.

I want to grab one of these little half-dressed sluts that strut around these parties with their titties and bellies and pussies and asses all hanging out and knock them out with whatever chemical it is you use to knock people out with. I'd pretend like she was fucked up from too many drugs and that I was their friend just helping them out.

I would put her in the back seat and drive her to my apartment, where I would handcuff her to the pipes under my bathroom sink.

And then ladies and gentlemen, the real fun would begin. I'd make it comfy for her by blasting techno mixtapes and keeping her high on E, blow, weed, booze, whatever. And then the initiation would begin.

*Something new to try: my new thing is finding a girl that will let me bust a nut directly into her nose. I want to shove the tip of my cock right into a nostril and fucking let 'er rip. In a perfect world she'd catch it in her throat and spit it out onto her hand before sucking it down her throat.

Friday night

Listening to Amanda Blank and blowing rails. Thinking about what I'm gonna wear tonight.

Going to a total hipster cluster-fuck party tonight. I've had so many different industry fucks hit me up this week like 'are you going are you going?'

Where I fucked up was when I told the hostess of the par-tay yeah sure I'll come check you out. But this was long before I figured out the situation. Hooooo boy.

Plus the ex is in the middle of a work meltdown. She wanted to blow this thing off altogether, and normally I would. But I kind of have to at least stop by this goddamned thing.

Man I am snorting my way through this gram with a quickness.

My life as Prince

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people you think would find this interesting (including me). You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think.

Pick Your Artist
Prince

Are you a male or female?
Baby I'm A Star

Describe yourself:
Dirty Mind

How do you feel:
Free

Describe where you currently live:
Erotic City

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Around the World in a Day

Your favorite form of transportation:
Little Red Corvette

Your best friend is:
Anna Stesia

Your favorite color is:
Computer Blue

What’s the weather like:
Sometimes it Snows in April

Favorite time of the day:
When We're Dancing Close and Slow

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Scandalous

What is life to you:
Life Can Be So Nice

Your relationships:
Gotta Broken Heart Again

Your fear:
Condition of the Heart

What is the best advice you have to give:
Dance On

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Annie Christian

Thought for the Day:
It's Gonna Be a Beautiful Night

How I would like to die:
Take Me With U

My soul’s present condition:
Soft & Wet

My Motto:
Partyup

Baby got a new hairdo

My sweet baby Bree Olsen went and got her hair did.

Looking good, baby girl. That I want to fuck like a dog over the railing of the balcony in a cheap motel room in Southfield, MI.

Only Raymi

Only Raymi could come out looking so incredibly shexy while getting her hair did. How does she do it?

Oh, right: Canadian. Canadian babes have got it going ON.

My new favorite porn star now has a name

The people have voted, and the hottie has spoken: Call me Chaira Noir

Whatever you say sweetness. Whatever you say.

nerve personals

The world is asleep today.

I think it has something to do with the holy crash override that occurred on Twitter today.

It was akin to taking away a baby’s bottle. So, so much crying!

But even though it has come back, everything is so fucking quiet today.

Is it a mass temper tantrum, and everyone is off somewhere pouting in a corner, backs turned to their computers?

Or is it that no one really cares anymore, and I’m all alone out here in this digital desert?

****

Once I met a woman online that came over to my apartment. I opened the door and she was almost as tall as me, and what the kids would call "fat." But to quote Bret Michaels, I found her to be 'smokin' hot.'

We smoked marijuana and made out and eventually she put my dick in her mouth, even though she said she wouldn’t. We became vicious lovers for months.

There was a summer day when I went over to her house and fucked her on her hardwood living room floor with the doors and windows wide open. An older Mexican lady saw us from the sidewalk. She stopped and watched impassively for a surprisingly long time. She never said or did anything. Just watched. At some point we just ignored her.

When I finished all over the babe's face, I noticed that the old lady was gone.

This girl was so crazy. Her only deal was that she would never do coke with me. But I wasn't fucking with blow so much back then. Besides, with a dirty girl like her, I didn't need it.

One time she wanted me to fuck her while she suspended herself in mid-air by bracing her feet on either side of a doorway. I stood on a chair and boned her from behind. Eventually she was on her knees in the bathroom where I surprised her by sticking it deep into her ass.

When we were finished, there was a smear of shit on the end of my dick.

“That’s what you get for fucking me up the ass without warning” she deadpanned. “But I like it better that way.”

violence, nudity, profanity---really good !!!

My sister is hilarious. She is much older than I am.

Like, old enough to be my mom older.

But that's how we roll around here.

Plus my dad was among the five most fertile humans of all-time. That guy could get a woman pregnant just by thinking about fucking her.

So my sister is now old enough to be in something of an assisted-living situation.

She's one of the most social people you'll ever meet, so it kind of makes sense.

Sis sent me an email today. It's pretty classic. She talks about her new living situation, and how she's gone about improving it:

Next month Im going to be a dj and play music two

saturdays out of the month.
Im calling it " Back down Memory Lane" --music of the

decades.You know I have a good collection of music and Im making some more tapes.

I have music from the fifties until the present and Im taking requests that I will try to acc-

omodate. Im looking forward to it. Maybe I can get these old folks up and dancing and

having a good time. I also hope to have a few refreshments and that it all works out cool.

I belong to Netflix and I love it. I pay less than 10 dollars a month and see about 2 to 3

movies a week plus you can watch some on the computer. I looked at Cadillac Records

last night and it was better than anticipated. The 50's music was nice and Beyonce was

better than I thought she would be , too.

I just been chillin over here. My neighbor and I sit on our balconies and drink wine and

smoke weed and listen to music. She is pretty cool. Im still a night owl and stay up most

nights rather late and talk to my buddy Ben and my friend Etta. They both still work

security on midnights and I looked at alot of cable. Im watching two series that are

really good. Have you seen True Blood on hbo ?? Its pretty good. They have violence,

nudity, profanity---really good !!!

I especially love that at her age, she's still smoking weed, DJing and watching crazy shit on TV like "True Blood."

But like I said, that's how we roll.

Bad-ass bitch of the day: Amanda Blank

Lusting after engaged Canadian blogger

Another example of Canadian sexiness.

Big Brit babe brings big boner (in my pants)

Another reason why I heart Vanessa Hudgens

She is a dirty, dirty girl

Running on empty

Nothing to say. In the literal sense.

Watching summer try to slide by behind my back like I'm not looking.

I always keep a close eye on summer. That bitch is so hot and so fast she'll run right by you before you even have a chance to react.

But if you stay in front of her, it's all wet and sweaty fucking from here until Labor Day. Now that's a dirty whore right there, Labor Day.

So it's August. The last round. The ninth inning. The next available cliche to pass through my head.

Nothing that throat-fucking a chubby blonde Midwestern girl with my face buried in her meaty pussy can't cure.

Shuper Shexy

I love this girl soooo much. I wish I could tell her, but I can't. Her bf would be pretty pissed, for one. But boy, would she ever be surprised to know how I feel about her. I'm surely the last guy she would ever imagine lusting after her hotness. Life, so full of little surprises.

Back to basics

Mondays are hard. Especially when you’ve spent the weekend getting totally wrecked under the Los Angeles summer sunshine.

You come home from a long day slaving over a hot computer only to remember that you still don’t have an air conditioner and holy fuck is it warm up in here. Open windows, turn on fan, take off clothing, smoke marijuana.

But eventually, it’s time to work out the kinks of the day the old-fashioned way.

Somehow, “Orgy World 6” is still doing the business. All of those amazing European chicks greedily sucking and fucking a room full of black penises hasn’t gotten the least bit stale yet.

Add a few lines of primo cocaine and it was all good in the ‘hood.

The resulting orgasm was one of the best I’ve felt since the last time I busted inside a warm vagina.

Speaking of, I’ve got some appointment sex set up for this Friday night with an ex.

There’s something very comforting about appointment sex. While you’re going about the mundane tasks of everyday life, it’s so nice to know that on a particular date you’re going to do some serious fucking and sucking with a big-titty babe.

Random celeb I wanna do "it" with: Paula Garces

You know her best from "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle."

I know her best from my filthy sexual fantasies.

totally wasted

I got so fucked up yesterday.

First, I got really stoned and went for a long hike. Came home, got more stoned.

Took a shower, got dressed, went to super-fun Hollywood party. Started drinking.

Walked by an amazingly gorgeous girl that looked way too much like the one that got away (the college years). Incredibly, she smiled at me. Being as fucked up as I was, by the time what had just happened registered, it was too late.

"Whatever," she sneered to a friend as I passed by. Epic fail much? Yup, that would be meeeee. Fuck. Story of my fucking life.

Ran into an old friend that I spent the past few years hating intensely. Never, ever mix friendships with money/livelihood. Just don't do it.

But enough years have passed that I just don't give a fuck anymore. Plus I've kind of got it going on, and this poor shlub is stuck in one shitty position now. Is karma a bitch? A harsh mistress, at least.

The most amazing thing about yesterday? I'm pretty sure I did not do a single line of cocaine. Whoa.

Listened to really good music from really good DJs.

Went out to my car and smoked more pot. Came back to the party and drank more.

Got totally fucking wasted.

Finally had enough fun (well, the DJ I liked the best was over, and I'd been there for like 4 hours or something).

Drunk-drove my ass home. Stopped at KFC on the way. Michael Jackson was right.

Woke up to find a full bucket of chicken in my fridge this morning. Today is a good day.