totally wasted

I got so fucked up yesterday.

First, I got really stoned and went for a long hike. Came home, got more stoned.

Took a shower, got dressed, went to super-fun Hollywood party. Started drinking.

Walked by an amazingly gorgeous girl that looked way too much like the one that got away (the college years). Incredibly, she smiled at me. Being as fucked up as I was, by the time what had just happened registered, it was too late.

"Whatever," she sneered to a friend as I passed by. Epic fail much? Yup, that would be meeeee. Fuck. Story of my fucking life.

Ran into an old friend that I spent the past few years hating intensely. Never, ever mix friendships with money/livelihood. Just don't do it.

But enough years have passed that I just don't give a fuck anymore. Plus I've kind of got it going on, and this poor shlub is stuck in one shitty position now. Is karma a bitch? A harsh mistress, at least.

The most amazing thing about yesterday? I'm pretty sure I did not do a single line of cocaine. Whoa.

Listened to really good music from really good DJs.

Went out to my car and smoked more pot. Came back to the party and drank more.

Got totally fucking wasted.

Finally had enough fun (well, the DJ I liked the best was over, and I'd been there for like 4 hours or something).

Drunk-drove my ass home. Stopped at KFC on the way. Michael Jackson was right.

Woke up to find a full bucket of chicken in my fridge this morning. Today is a good day.

“Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends.”

America. Land of the free, home of Sonic fast foot restaurants with wry TV commercials and slushies for a reasonable price.

Let no one get between a good American and his nearest Sonic. Not even an officer of the law. Because the REAL law of the country that God and white long-haired Jesus loves the most says that no one can stop us from our right to eat deep fried foods drenched in salt and sugar and high fructose corn syrup 24 hours a goddamned day. Impede our right to assault ourselves with outer space food for dummies at your own peril, copper. Before you know it an irate Asian will drag your sorry ass down the street with his automobile while the assembled hordes applaud his patriotism.

Fuck, I wish there was a Sonic in Los Angeles. Then I could mow down a cop with my car too. And get a side of tater tots to go, bitch.