Sickness

Not my generally mental illness, but actual physical maladies.

They have besieged my body for the past week plus two days. And it's sucked. A lot.

I've somehow been able to drag my bedraggled body out and about town, but it's been hard. Especially the fatigue. I hate feeling so fucking tired all of the time. Sucks.

My brain has been especially tired. I've had to find a way to keep it running in somewhat top condition despite my illness, and that has taken quite a toll. But I've been able to keep things afloat at work, which is of tantamount importance to me.

While my porn/masturbation schedule hasn't slowed down that much (if at all!), I just haven't had the energy to say much about it. And you're welcome (ha).

And while Kanye West could very well be one of the world's biggest douche bags, I'm all about his bald-headed bitch of a girlfriend, Amber Rose. Those tits are simply outstanding, no pun intended.

Throwdown kinda bitch

Having a semi-delicious whiskey cocktail.

I’ve been sort of getting back into alcohol lately.

It started last weekend at a party in San Francisco. I got terrifically drunk for the first time in ages and it was fantastic.

So I went ahead and bought myself a pint of whiskey yesterday on my way home from work and before the concert.

When I drove to the concert I totally scored rock star parking on the street like a block away.

I sat in my car drinking whiskey, smoking weed and listening to music until I was good and lit up.

Then I went inside the concert. It was sold out. There were lots of young people being wanton and carefree, as there should be at these things.

I was pretty fucked up, just kind of wandering around and taking it all in.

(Excuse me while I smoke another bowl. I did a bunch of lines earlier and it helped me blaze through some laundry and fueled a satisfying wank to young miss Aaralyn Barra).

The concert was great. The band sounded hot and Slug was so solid on the mic and I stood in close proximity to so many fine-ass bitches. Like crazy stripper-looking bitches.

Slug has a big problem with cocaine. He tells kids not to do it onstage and in the liner notes of his records. I think this is a very good thing. Those little fuckers really listen to dude.

Me, I’m still having my moment with the powder. It works for me. I enjoy it. What can I say?

I’m going out of town for real next week. Friday through Monday. It should be interesting to say the least.

I wonder what will happen when I actually see the fat girl. It probably depends on how fucked up I/we get. It would be nice to lick on those massive tits though. I bet her nipples are just stellar. And I have a feeling those babies are in dire need of some undivided attention.

The kindness of strangers

I’m so fucking drunk right now I can’t even tell you. Jesus. Endless glasses of top-shelf bourbon have knocked me right on my ass. That’s what I get for borrowing xTx’s pants before a night out.

Tonight should have been completely fucked. I pissed a particular girl off to no end. She basically told me to fuck off and leave her alone. I crossed the line and she wasn’t having any of it.

I found myself at a bar in L.A. Well, Culver City if we’re being technical. I sat down and ordered a beer. A kind of cute babe with really curly hair started talking to me. If she wasn’t with a guy she referred to as her boyfriend, I would’ve sworn she was hitting on me. I think her boyfriend would wholeheartedly agree with that estimation.

Her and I talked about work and Michael Jackson and cocaine. She was most interesting. If she wasn’t with a man I would have absolutely tried to hook up with her.

When I finally let it be known that I was having issues with a woman, she was all ears. She listened intently to my tale of woe, and how I completely fucked things up with a girl tonight.

She asked me if I’d like her help. I said of course. She said give me your phone. I gave her my phone. She typed the most basic, straightforward message to the girl and pressed send.

Trust me she said. Not three minutes later, my phone buzzed in response. The girl would come meet me at the bar.

I looked at my new friend with a newfound respect. Now I REALLY wanted to make out with her.

The girl showed up. She was happy to see me. We made out and I grabbed her boobs under her dress (no bra—hello).

We made out in her car for a while. Then she had to leave.

Call me, she said with a wink before speeding off.

I stumbled drunkenly to my car. Once inside, I did a big bump of coke for the ride home.

Now I’m here.

And all I want to do is fuck the living daylights out of my new curly-haired friend. Or at least lick her pussy until she comes a couple of times. It’s the least I can do.

Friday nights are the shit. I need to take advantage of them more than I do.

OK, time to smoke a bowl, jerk off to something hot and naaaaasty and go to sleep.

It’s the weekend, y’all. Hells to the yeah.

Oh shit—and Anna Paquin is on Jimmy Fallon tonight. Bring it on, baby. Bring that shit on.

Mellow Friday night

Just chillin'.

Got some coke from my man. Doing some lines, watching a couple of episodes of "Fuck Team 5" that I downloaded from the net and jerking off. Smoking some weed, too. Sometimes, that's all a person needs on a Friday night.

Chloe Marshall, Miss Surrey 2008

Uuuuunnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhh...(the sound of me cumming on her picture).

This lovely lass reminds me of the joys of high-grade marijuana and a couple of tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. A long weekend in a resort hotel with this red-hot slab of heat would be too much fun. You know skinny bitches would be talking shit, while their men would be hiding the involuntary hard-ons when she walked by. Uh huh, yeah. I just hope that there's a man somewhere in the world that is working that ass OUT. I mean getting all up in those guts and churning that shit like butter. I am jealous of that man.

Last night’s cum shot: I gots some work to do

I didn’t post about last night’s blast-off, as I was studying a couple of new DVDs that showed up in the post yesterday.

Last week I discovered that Sensational Video sells their DVDs online for next to nothing. We’re talking brand new discs for as a low as 99 cents. And not just crappy, really old ones either.

Last week I ordered Big Black Dicks Dirty White Tricks 2 and All Amateur Video #34: Gangbangs Galore. The first one cost me a single buck, the latter was a whopping two. With shipping, the whole package was barely $10.

These tapes are nasty—and in the best way possible.

Let’s start with Big Black Dicks Dirty White Tricks 2. This DVD is pretty straightforward. Skanky, kind of regular looking white sluts getting banged by big-ass black dudes.

There are four scenes, each one pretty hot. I’m especially partial to a scene with “Friday.”

This whore has massive fake tits, and boy, does she ever get fucked by homeboy. Dude is big, with kind of a bear-belly, bald head and thick cock. These two get so into it, there are sequences where I swear they forget there’s even a camera there.

The guy is fucking Friday like she’s the love of his life. He “sets up shop” as I like to say in different positions and let’s her have for these long, drawn-out stretches.

She’s loving it, and comes twice. He eventually pumps her like crazy on the floor before oozing a chunky load down her face and tits.

There's another great clip of this black dude that looks to be in his mid-40s fucking this cute little blond with short hair called "Sunset Rivers." The best sequence is when he's reaming her like dog on the couch, and after and while she's like, "No, no, hold on."

The guy just looks at her and says, "Oh, yes, yes," and rams her for another good ten minutes before demanding that she "Come here" (he has to tell her twice) so he can shoot on her face.

That’s kind of the M.O. on this DVD. These give their girls some of the most thorough fucking I’ve ever seen in porn. Just real grimy, all up in that sweetness, behind-the-barn old-school boning.

These guys are my new fuck heroes, and there isn't a bad scene in the bunch.

As for last night’s cum shot, oh man. All Amateur Video #34: Gangbangs Galore is one of the weirdest DVDs I’ve ever watched. I’ll get into more detail later, but watching this skinny little skank that goes by “Candy” catch three loads in the face (including one that goes straight into her mouth, and another that rips straight up her nose I swear it is so fucking sick it’s hot). I spewed rather easily to that nonsense.

Since it's Friday, I'm blowing a bunch of lines and reviewing what I watched last night. So nice.