Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The times when I think ‘OK, I might actually have a problem.’


This is one of those times.

I was absently doing a line of cocaine when I had a thought.

There are not very many people that do blow on more nights than not.

I’m trying to understand how I became one of those people.

The best/worst part is that I don’t ‘feel’ any kind of way about it. There’s no guilt, no shame. At most, I think of the money.

Otherwise, whatever. I'm sure I'll get a gram for the weekend at least. Deal.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Freedom 09: July 2

“So you really are a nasty boy.”

I think I subconsciously knew something was going to happen between us, especially when she stepped out of the car looking like some kind of 6-foot tall sex bomb, luscious brunette curls cascading down her slender back (see above).

We’ve always had an unusually strong and intimate connection. But over the ten years that we’ve known each other, it’s always remained plutonic.

Then again, so much has changed since those days, especially me. I’ve learned to at least accept if not love myself to a degree that I’m just more open to the possibilities. Ah, I’ve finally grown a pair. That’s all.

We went to the club, and it was as ridiculous as expected. Well, we did some lines first. I wanted to test the waters, and just like that New Year’s Eve all those moons ago when she first introduced me to blow, she dove right in.

The club was packed, mostly with hot women. But next to me, gripping my hand, was the sexiest lady in the place. We drank a lot of vodka, laughed at the scene, and left.

We picked up a friend of hers, a sultry, olive-skinned beauty. I didn’t ask, but I think she’s biracial. The three of us bought a large bottle of vodka and went back to my place.

We did a lot of coke. They called another friend to come over—a tall, gorgeous blond with mischievous eyes. She’d just come from getting a tattoo done on her back. To show us, she simply dropped her dress and turned around. There she was, naked except for a pair of tiny Hello Kitty panties, standing in the middle of my living room. She had lovely, brown-tipped breasts and a lean, flat stomach. Her ass…oh, that ass. Let freedom ring, baby.

The night progressed. More cocaine was snorted. The blond got dressed and left. The cute biracial girl passed out on the couch. And the bombshell and I attacked each other with a fervor generally reserved for Animal Planet.

“You should just manhandle me,” she slurred drunkenly as I eagerly pawed at her long, muscular body. Her left nipple is pierced with a small silver hoop that I tugged at with my teeth. When I pulled aside her panties, I found a small barbell through her clit hood.

We licked, sucked, tugged, wrestled, kissed—everything but fucked.

“I just got dumped and you’re on a break,” she panted at one point. “Maybe we should take it slow.”

And then she grabbed by crotch and bit my neck—hard.

We fell into my bed, practically fighting as we dug into each other.

She rammed two of my fingers deep into her sweet, slippery warmth. I bit her thigh and she sunk her teeth into my arm. Outside, the sun waited as long as possible before finally relenting and taking a peek over the horizon and at the debauchery going on in my room.

I grabbed her by the throat and held her down. She smiled. That’s when she said it.

“So you really are a nasty boy.”

I don’t remember when we curled up into a cuddle spoon and fell asleep.

When we woke up, she asked for water. She gave me a deep, delicious tongue kiss. Her friend that we left sleeping on the couch was gone.

We went out for food and came back to my place.

“OK, come here,” she purred. We curled up on the couch, put on a movie and fell asleep.

Epilogue: The following morning, I woke up totally sore all over my body. When I looked in the mirror, there were huge, splotchy bruises along my shoulders and biceps. Thankfully, she spared my neck. When I saw her, she had similar markings along her inner thigh and on her ass.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Ideas for the 4th of July

Kim Kardashian makes me happy


As far back as I can remember, I've had mad love for Armenian/Persian/Middle Eastern women. Kim K just does it for me. From those big, doe-like eyes to other big parts of her anatomy, she's my kind of lady.

This is the 4th of July party I really want to attend. Kim K, next to a BBQ grill by the pool, all decked out in a bikini and ready to get freaky. Sigh.

Pool parties, firecrackers and a (CENSORED) that chirps like a (DELETED)


I’m reconnecting with an old friend tonight. It’s kind of ironic, as it was ten years ago that this person introduced me to cocaine. It was a New Year’s Eve in Chicago. I was already drunk and high, so when she chopped out some lines and offered me the straw I said fuck it and dove right in.

It was just like all of the clichés about feeling good and talking a lot. We stayed up talking about life and the future and whatever else our cracked out brains could come up with until well after the sun came up. It was a whole lot of fun and I’ll always remember the night fondly.

We’re both in very different places now. But we again find ourselves in the same city. We’ve kind of hung out a few times, and it’s been weird. There was this one night when it was her birthday, so my gf and I went to her party.

OK, I’d seen her fucked up before. But she was more fucked up than I’d ever seen her that night. She was with her bf of the time, a real sleazy dude I didn’t like at all. He would later bear out my suspicions by dumping her one morning after going on an all-night coke binge with some other chick. He called her in the morning like “yeah, I’m out.”

I’m not sure why she’s so adamant about catching up. While I would LOVE to fuck this woman, I don’t necessarily see that happening. But you never know. Plus from what I know she’s still a serious druggie. I plan on getting my hands on a gram or two before she comes over. We can get a little twisted before heading out on our night-time adventure. And it will be an adventure, that’s for sure.

I knew it


There is something very weird in the air today. Something that feels completely different and unknown, like that fucked-up creature that attacked Sookie on “True Blood” last week.

I woke up all weird. Felt totally out of sorts with my body. Not liking what I see in the mirror. That would be the Ben & Jerry’s showing it’s leering face.

Ironed my shirt twice and it’s still totally wrinkled. This is one of those days. So I did a couple of lines before I left for work.

Doing blow at work is rare. I’ve done it when I needed to power through a pile of projects, and I’ve done it when I was just bored. Today I did it to get over a particularly rough patch of self-loathing and out the door. It worked.

I brought more blow with me to work. I don’t know why. I did some in the bathroom about an hour ago. More than anything, it makes the time just kind of melt away.

Then I read xTx and see that this madness is indeed going around today. Fuck.

I’m sort of stressing about Saturday. I hate these social holidays when there’s no one to spend them with. And this year, there’s no one. The one person I might’ve been able to hook up with has to work. What’s worse, I have a couple of fun things to do. I just won’t do them alone.

I’ve opted against the WET pool party, for a few reasons. There’s a pretty sweet celebrity party that I could go to, but I would feel like an ass going alone. Fuckfuckfuck.

(UPDATE/Photo credit: This picture was quite brazenly hijacked from the site "I Shoot Porn." Thankfully, dude didn't get too harsh with me for it. So thanks for that. Anyway, the site is fucking awesome and should be viewed early and often).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Just fucking high

Snorted some lines earlier. Switched to Newcastle ale and weed. A lot of weed. So high right now. Thinking about what kind of trouble I can get into this weekend.

There is the WET pool party happening at the Custom Hotel in Culver City for the 4th of July. I used to go to WET parties when they were at the Roosevelt Hotel. Those were some crazy-ass parties. My (now ex) girlfriend and I would get a room, where we'd go to blow lines and fuck throughout the day. Awesome. Hang out by the pool, she'd swim for a while, we'd suck down a bunch of drinks. Then we'd hit the room, hoover up a few rails and I'd fuck her really hard doggystyle standing up, not even taking off her bikini bottoms but just pulling them to the side. I wouldn't cum, though. That was the thing. We'd see how many times we could do it over the course of the day (and night). Just get all tweaked the fuck out. I remember one night I was so high I wandered out of our room and towards the pool area, totally naked. Thankfully the party was over and mostly clear (and that my ex found my ass and dragged me back into the room). Those were the fucking days. Literally. My cock is throbbing just thinking about it.


I'm thinking about getting a room at the Custom this weekend. A couple of grams of blow. See what happens. Maybe I can coax some drunk slattern from the pool into my room for some coke and my cock. That would be a lot of fun. Plus I'm sure I'll run into some ghosts from my past.
That's kind of a given.

But if there are any particularly nasty coke whores out there looking to get freaky for the 4th, holler at y\r boy. I will brang the caine and the cock. You bring the dirty mind, open mouth and open legs. Bring that shit!