Nuthin new about it

I really have no right to complain. I bring all of this shit on myself. I do.

But still. I mean come on. Is this what I get for watching cinematic tripe like “He’s Just Not That Into You”?

I met a girl recently. I liked her immediately, for myriad reasons. It seemed the feeling was somewhat mutual. The night we met, we hung out and had a really fun time at one hell of a sweet party. Much weed was smoked and booze quaffed. No one was feeling any pain. And then we had our moment.

At some point we happened to glance at each other. Emboldened by various intoxicants, I held her gaze. She didn’t flinch. We stared each other down for a good four seconds before turning away. It was the hottest thing to happen in my life in so fucking long it actually makes me want to cry.

Being on this whole go-for-it kick, I set about trying to make something happen with her. Phone calls, e-mails, fucking Twitter—we communicated constantly. The timing sucked though. The holidays kind of dropped in and shut everything down as her family came to town, la di da. Fine.

Fast forward to New Year’s Eve. Run into her on Twitter. Of course. Soon enough she asked what I was doing for the whole midnight thing. And like that, I was meeting her at a party to celebrate the new year, decade, all that.

Best part: I show up to the party. I’m outside dealing with the drama of getting in. I text her that I was there. She says she’ll come out. And she does. She looks great. She walks up to say hello — to me and this dude standing behind me. Moral: this chick had invited two dudes to be her date at the same party. Awesome, right? Right.

OK. Um. She grabs a friend and the four of us go in the alley and smoke a joint. OK. We go inside, drink, chat, hang out, whatever.

Midnight comes. She gives me a hug and a classic side-cheek kiss. Same for the other dude. OK.

Time comes to leave. Everyone is set to hit next party, which is kind of across town. OK. Being L.A., everyone is in different cars. I drive to the other spot.

When I let her know that I was there, everything goes all wobbly. First her friend wants to drop her off. Then she wants to skip the party and go to this OTHER party, which is all the way back on the side of town I just left. OK.

As I’m driving back, I get another text. She’s just going to call it a night. On New Year’s Eve. At like 1:30AM. OK. Cool.

I’m sure she fucked the other guy.

Story of my life.