Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand

I just cannot pull it together today.

I left all sorts of essentials behind when I went to work this morning, and had to leave the office to retrieve them. Because there’s no way I’m going through a full day of work without being able to blast my brain with sweet sweet muzik.

Right now it’s classic Duran Duran. The song is called “Lonely in Your Nightmare.”

I can remember a time when listening to this particular song made me feel so sophisticated. Between the swirly whirly synthesizers and nonsensical lyrics, I just knew that it all meant something very deep and cosmopolitan. It sounded like impossibly thin, beautiful people doing cocaine on a yacht docked in the south of France--basically the exact opposite of my life at the time.

I connected with an old “friend” on Facebook today. And yes, it’s a she.

She lives in my hometown, where I’m going to visit next month. On a lark, I sent her a pretty provocative email, saying how good she looked in her most recent photos and how much I’d like to spend some time when I got into town. I was feeling cavalier, what can I say?

It took her a couple of days to respond, so I was sure she’d been put off by the aggressive nature of my message. But then today I get a very sweet note from her saying that she’d love to see me, and to give her plenty of notice.

This particularly female, ironically enough, is of the larger variety. Tall, thick and with massive breasts that literally call out to me in the prettiest voices (they sound a lot like Linda Ronstadt in the mid-‘70s) to suck on them gently.

While this woman and I used to flirt wildly, we never hooked up. That is going to change when I see her next month. My penis is doing that weird pulsing thing it does when it knows it’s going to visit some uncharted territory. Hottt.

Trolling for drug buddies and coke sluts

I’m on a quest to locate at least one (preferably more!) seriously down and dirty coke slut to party with. You know the type—the chicks that are eager to get naked, snort up lines of blow and fuck.

This is L.A. so I would imagine there are plenty of these fuck-toys running around town. I’ve connected with a couple of potential coke whores on Craig’s List. Even better, there’s a chick I used to work with that I know is a coke fiend that just hit me up out of the blue lately. She’s a hot Asian babe(!) that I’ve made out with a couple of times. The last time we made out (at a bar), she let me know in very frank terms: whenever I wanted to hook up, she was down for it.

Her only stipulation being that we both be single at the same time. Well, guess what? We’re both single at the same time. I have a feeling that she caught wind of my relationship status, which is why she’s hitting me up now.

We’re planning on getting together this weekend and just “hanging out.” We’ll see what happens, but I have a very good feeling about this one—especially between my legs.

Fun fact: While I’ve messed around with a few Asian babes, I’ve never had the pleasure of a full-on fuck session. Wish me luck.