blowing through the jasmine in my mind.

PotPropaganda

I like to smoke marijuana

(I started writing this a while ago. Finally got around to finishing it. I know--big whoop)

Crazy week. Mostly still recovering from Coachella. I definitely caught something running around like a madman in the desert. On top of that I also wrenched my knee pretty good at some point. It was all totally worth it.

Last Saturday afternoon I actually got my shit together and went down to the THC Expose at the L.A. Convention Center.

Shit was trippy. It was similar to any other youth-oriented trade show type deal (think MAGIC in Vegas or ASR in San Diego). Tons of booths sprawled across the convention floor, ranging from mundane to massive. There was a wide array of freaks walking around and taking it all in (like the dude I saw with the fully tattooed face). Scads of mostly-naked “convention girls” worked the floor, handing out everything from lighters to stickers to posing for pictures with horny twentysomething dudes who will lie and tell their friends they totally fucked her. There was one who was so skinny it was kind of scary.

As expected, there was a lot of…everything. Bob Marley t-shirts, bongs, pipes, vaporizers, yet another “system-cleansing” detox drink — you know the story.

There were a few standouts. I was impressed by “Tow & Grow,” a company that specialized in “Advanced mobile hydroponics,” which are basically mobile grow rooms.

I kinda wish I’d gone with someone, though. I was super-stoned and there by myself, so after a while I was just wandering around in a haze. Someone should have suggested that I buy a new bong. This one table had mad glass for totally decent prices.

There was a chance I was gonna meet up with this one girl. But it never happened. But she did call me the next day. And that’s when things got REALLY fan-fucking-tastic...

"Cute and cuddly pothead nympho playmate"

This is MY Xmas wish. Please, Santa? Pretty please with sugar and hot fudge and cherries on top?

I wanna be down in the LBK

Because in Lubbock, Texas, there are girls like Rachdro and Cam711. Girls so magical that they score weed in the shape of tiny hearts. That's why I wanna be down in the LBK.

Gone fishin'

Dirty White Snow Bunnies has sold out and Twitters now

I figure, what the fuck? Maybe I can get lucky trolling for whores there.

http://twitter.com/dirtysnowbunny

Follow me and I'll follow you.

Otherwise, blew a bunch of lines earlier, jerked off to Kelly Wells and now I'm smoking weed and warming up some Indian food leftovers.

Monday.

nerve personals

The world is asleep today.

I think it has something to do with the holy crash override that occurred on Twitter today.

It was akin to taking away a baby’s bottle. So, so much crying!

But even though it has come back, everything is so fucking quiet today.

Is it a mass temper tantrum, and everyone is off somewhere pouting in a corner, backs turned to their computers?

Or is it that no one really cares anymore, and I’m all alone out here in this digital desert?

****

Once I met a woman online that came over to my apartment. I opened the door and she was almost as tall as me, and what the kids would call "fat." But to quote Bret Michaels, I found her to be 'smokin' hot.'

We smoked marijuana and made out and eventually she put my dick in her mouth, even though she said she wouldn’t. We became vicious lovers for months.

There was a summer day when I went over to her house and fucked her on her hardwood living room floor with the doors and windows wide open. An older Mexican lady saw us from the sidewalk. She stopped and watched impassively for a surprisingly long time. She never said or did anything. Just watched. At some point we just ignored her.

When I finished all over the babe's face, I noticed that the old lady was gone.

This girl was so crazy. Her only deal was that she would never do coke with me. But I wasn't fucking with blow so much back then. Besides, with a dirty girl like her, I didn't need it.

One time she wanted me to fuck her while she suspended herself in mid-air by bracing her feet on either side of a doorway. I stood on a chair and boned her from behind. Eventually she was on her knees in the bathroom where I surprised her by sticking it deep into her ass.

When we were finished, there was a smear of shit on the end of my dick.

“That’s what you get for fucking me up the ass without warning” she deadpanned. “But I like it better that way.”

The Stealthy Stoner strikes again

When I get really, really high (like tonight), my inner Stealthy Stoner comes out.

He's the one that takes care of the snack attack food runs (like tonight), which lead me to my friendly neighborhood 7-11.

I saw two young-ish Asian dudes that were very clearly having a severe case of the munchies as well. The one just stood there staring into the ice cream case. Yeah, I know the feeling, dude.

I grabbed a couple of beers (Newcastle Ale, obvs), a big bag of mixed nuts and a box of Nag Champa incense. Gotta keep the place smelling fresh, OK?

And I was able to make it there and back without losing my parking spot. Yesssssss.

The beers are flowing and the weed is strong. Monday night live, bitches. You know how we do.

Rollin'

I love rolling joints.

Yeah, I smoke most of my weed in a very nice glass pipe these days. I'm thinking about buying a new bong, too.

But sometimes I just like to twist up a jay, roll a joint, whatever the kids are calling it these days.

If I'm living large, I love to roll up a fat blunt. But with the pricey pot I'm smoking these days, blunts are for special occasions. But I do love that tasty cigarillo flavor.

I just rolled a very nice joint of Bubba Kush. A few tokes later and I'm nice and stoned.

The perfect state to be while checking out Phaedra Fallen, a blog that has been turning me on/getting me off for a while now.

She's got a perfectly dirty mind, and lately has been giving us tasty peeks at her fine-ass body (see the hot bod in the picture? That's what I'm talking about, baby!).

I've been watching that show "Royal Pains." I love the scenery, but it's all about the sexy Indian babe. She's hot to death.

Orgy World 6: The aftermath

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In my corner of America

There are many benefits to my corner of America.

For one, it's in Los Angeles. The land of dreams and movie stars and celebrity everything.

The weather is nice and the living is easy.

OK, the easy part is a lie.

But in my corner of America, there is a 24-hour McDonald’s drive-thru.

I can go there at 3AM and buy a Reese's Peanut Butter McFlurry (limited time only) to enjoy while smoking the grass and bathing in the warm cathode bath of love.

My corner of America is pretty damn cool.

“Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends.”

America. Land of the free, home of Sonic fast foot restaurants with wry TV commercials and slushies for a reasonable price.

Let no one get between a good American and his nearest Sonic. Not even an officer of the law. Because the REAL law of the country that God and white long-haired Jesus loves the most says that no one can stop us from our right to eat deep fried foods drenched in salt and sugar and high fructose corn syrup 24 hours a goddamned day. Impede our right to assault ourselves with outer space food for dummies at your own peril, copper. Before you know it an irate Asian will drag your sorry ass down the street with his automobile while the assembled hordes applaud his patriotism.

Fuck, I wish there was a Sonic in Los Angeles. Then I could mow down a cop with my car too. And get a side of tater tots to go, bitch.

Persian heat

Just got back from my 7-11.

When I walked in, these two Persian babes stopped and checked me out for a second.

Both of them were pretty fugly, and older than their outfits would have one think. They probably thought the same about me, because we all went on about our business.

I grabbed a big Newscatle beer and got behind these chicks in line.

The shorter one in the thin gray sweatpants is standing in front of me, rifling through her purse. She has the most incredible ass. Like the kind that sits up real nice and high, really tight, curvy like a tiny basketball. Her pants had lodged between her ass cheeks, truly showing off just how fucking hot it looked.

I’ve always wanted to ball a Persian. They look like they would get really nasty in bed. Don’t ask me why. And I'm now officially on a crusade to bring back the phrase "to ball" in regards to sex. Maybe because it kind of sounds greasy, like coating your balls in KY and then rubbing them all over a nice pussy. That's some old-school shit right there.

Full disclosure: Also hit the BK drive-thru on the way back. Ordered a Whopper Jr with no mayo, and the 4-piece chicken things on the 'value' menu. They came out shaped like stars and lightning bolts. Wha?