Getting back to it...

Hey.

So...I guess I should do some explaining.

Initially, this was a place for me to, I don't know, express my most debauched fantasies or something. But I've decided to screw all of that and just get real.

I'm just a guy, like any other guy. Which, of course, means I've got all kinds of fucked-up issues to deal with, you know?

The one thing that really messes me up is my desires for really nasty sex, preferably with someone I don't know very well (or even better, someone that I don't really like--grudge-sex is hot sex!).

And don't get me wrong, I'm not just some sad loser that can't get a date. I even have a girlfriend, and she's pretty sweet. Therein, sadly, lies the rub. She's kind of too sweet to fuck.

I know there are a million girls that would throw up their hands in disgust at that last statement. There are just as many guys that would simply say "Dude--tell me about it."

I'm seriously starting to believe that monogamy is the most unnatural thing a guy can do. Well, something has to be at the root of this issue. I'll never understand why I'm unable to maintain a sexual tension with a woman after a certain period of time.

The same thing happened with my last girlfriend. Everything was all hot and heavy for about the first six months. After that, the law of diminishing returns kicked in big-time. And here I am again.

I was thinking about the best sex I've ever had. Almost without fail, it was with someone that I either didn't know very well, or we only did it a few times. The main exception would be my high school gf. We were able to keep things insanely hot well past the expiration date on our relationship. And honestly, the sex only got hotter the less we liked each other. By the end, we pretty much couldn't stand the sight of the other one. But man, the sex was downright nuclear.

So this is where the coke and porn come in. It helps provide me with fantasy material for the times when I am doing it with my gf, but how sad is that? Siiiiigh.

Can someone say "therapy"?