Moments in life

Well then. I think it’s safe to say that by this age the cell is pretty much complete. It’s quite analogous with my entire life, really. Fitting, since it is my life.

It’s times like now that I can believe that my crackpot theories are true. If I believed in curses, mine would be to forever exist on the verge of…everything. Life. Career. That goddamned fucking “R” word relationships. Quality of fucking life, I suppose. (I know—that’s a lot of fucking. Sue me. I’m in the moment).

All of my dreams and desires, just a hair’s breath out of reach. Mental, physical, financial, whatever—I can see it, smell it, pontificate about it, give a professional on it—I just can’t touch it. That would be my cure. If I believed in such things such as curses.

The million-dollar question: where’s that last 10 percent? The last big push to make all of those murky, nebulous dreams finally, mercifully, come true?

OR

Silently and subconsciously, you begin to lower your expectations. This continues until your expectations and reality finally, mercifully match up. The sooner this happens the better. Otherwise, it can (and routinely does) get ugly.

Well I wonder. Do you see me when you sleep?

Hayley Williams of Paramore has something to show you

PotPropaganda

Massive Attack was totally fucking with me tonight

My gay neighbor

I’ve talked about this dude before. Really interesting. He definitely reminds me of Lafayette from “True Blood.” In a very real way, though. He’s all tall and effeminate, but I’ve already seen this guy go bloody diva on the front lawn with some ex-bf mid-break-up. Like crazy time.

I’m not sure what this guy does for a living. For a minute I thought he was a dealer of some sort, but I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t fucking know.

Anyway, dude has found himself a new boy-toy. I know this because his bedroom is right against mine. And for the past couple of nights, “Lafayette” and his new friend have been engaging in some hardcore and very vocal butt-fucking.

Last night someone’s anal cavity was getting a serious pounding. The bed was banging against the wall in rapid-fire succession for an inordinate amount of time at one point (are they over snorting tweek and fucking?). 


But then this morning---ohhh shit! It was like they were taking turns literally fucking the shit out of each other. Lots of high-pitched squealing “Give it to me there!” and “Come on! COME ON!”

I was cracking up. It was fascinating, really. I’m not mad, though. It sounds like they are having one hell of a good time over there. And you can’t front on that.

Happily, a very hot mama is coming over here tomorrow night. I don’t “know” what’s gonna happen, but it will be interesting to hear what things are sounding like around here deep into the night…

It’s all “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” But not really.

This is what my life feels like right now

Welcome to my world

OK, now it's your turn.

Coachella stories

I could talk about Coachella 2010 for hours. But I'll spare you.

I will say it was FUCKING AWESOME. I saw a shit-ton of amazing music crammed into 3 fun-filled days.

Shit about Coachella this year:

*Me & my peoples totally won in terms of getting on-site/inside all three days. We got there early enough on Friday to miss all of the madness at the gate.

*I am the black MacGyver. I now have the most fool-proof method getting my weed into Coachella. Fuck you, asshole bag-checkers at the gate!

*Everybody at Coachella was smoking weed. It was awesome. I was mad stoned the entire weekend.

*My one-hitter did get clogged at the end of Sunday night though. I'll have to remember to full clean that bitch thoroughly after each night next year.

*I'm considering finding a new housing situation for next year. I'd love to go with a bunch of party freaks, get a house and fucking go for it. The place I get to stay is awesome, but you have to be all civilized. And it kinda blows.

*Jay-Z and the Gorillaz fucking OWNED that shit. The XX, Plastikman, Mayer Hawthorne, Sleigh Bells, Deerhunter, Faith No More, Flying Lotus, Major Lazer, Little Dragon, The Specials and Echo and the Bunnymen were some other personal highlights.

* I met a really amazing girl. She was a friend of a friend. We actually bunked in the same room, which was kind of...weird. Thankfully, she was mad cool and we're totally gonna be friends. So everybody wins.

*I can' wait until Coachella 2011. Can't fucking wait.

I like to smoke marijuana

(I started writing this a while ago. Finally got around to finishing it. I know--big whoop)

Crazy week. Mostly still recovering from Coachella. I definitely caught something running around like a madman in the desert. On top of that I also wrenched my knee pretty good at some point. It was all totally worth it.

Last Saturday afternoon I actually got my shit together and went down to the THC Expose at the L.A. Convention Center.

Shit was trippy. It was similar to any other youth-oriented trade show type deal (think MAGIC in Vegas or ASR in San Diego). Tons of booths sprawled across the convention floor, ranging from mundane to massive. There was a wide array of freaks walking around and taking it all in (like the dude I saw with the fully tattooed face). Scads of mostly-naked “convention girls” worked the floor, handing out everything from lighters to stickers to posing for pictures with horny twentysomething dudes who will lie and tell their friends they totally fucked her. There was one who was so skinny it was kind of scary.

As expected, there was a lot of…everything. Bob Marley t-shirts, bongs, pipes, vaporizers, yet another “system-cleansing” detox drink — you know the story.

There were a few standouts. I was impressed by “Tow & Grow,” a company that specialized in “Advanced mobile hydroponics,” which are basically mobile grow rooms.

I kinda wish I’d gone with someone, though. I was super-stoned and there by myself, so after a while I was just wandering around in a haze. Someone should have suggested that I buy a new bong. This one table had mad glass for totally decent prices.

There was a chance I was gonna meet up with this one girl. But it never happened. But she did call me the next day. And that’s when things got REALLY fan-fucking-tastic...